It can feel like something essential is missing — as if there’s a gap between how you are and how you think you should be.
Low self-esteem isn’t just about feeling “not good enough” or lacking confidence. It’s often rooted in an unconscious sense of not measuring up, as though there’s something fundamental missing that others seem to have. This feeling of inadequacy can show up in many ways — a lack of self-belief, self-doubt, or the constant comparison to others.
It’s not uncommon for people to struggle with self-esteem while still being highly accomplished or outwardly successful. The problem often lies in how one relates to oneself — the belief that there’s a “perfect version” of who one should be, and that the current self is inadequate or incomplete.
In therapy, the focus isn’t simply about building confidence or self-love, but about exploring where this sense of lack originates. Often, it’s tied to how one’s identity is formed in relation to others — through early experiences or societal expectations. Understanding this can offer a new perspective, where the focus shifts from trying to “fix” oneself to becoming more attuned to the deeper layers of one’s sense of self, and finding a way to live more authentically with that awareness.
